Advice: Should I contract my tax return for my ex-boyfriend?

Q: I recently hired a lawyer to go through his past tax returns and decide if he’s eligible for a loan. He doesn’t have a job and his credit score is 860 (it’s unusual that it’s above 800). He also has a hard time staying employed for more than a year. I am concerned that he’s using my money to live a life that is lacking any value for me. I don’t want to bankroll his debt, but he’s disinterested in me and interested only in himself. He is possibly a predatory lender, and since I’m not paying him, I don’t want to put myself at risk either. I want to help him get a job and better support himself. Can we settle up now or should I insist that he get vaccinated for his contagious diseases? What should I do?

A: Of course you’re concerned about predatory lending, and what’s worse is that you’re right to be concerned. If you can make a rational decision to go ahead and get a loan, then that’s one thing. However, if you think it’s important that he gets his vaccinations (because he has contracted two kinds of diseases), then it’s time to go to him and ask him if he has these vaccines and vaccines (because of the possible risk of both) are right. Ask him if he has a vaccination, as many flu shots and chickenpox vaccines are usually given to stay healthy, especially for the short term. Go through every one of his injections and ask if it’s right for him (or someone very close to him).

There’s no guarantee that he’ll get any vaccinations, but he’ll at least have gotten a second chance to make an informed decision before getting the loan. Because you’re asking about predatory lending, you may need to know more than what he told you. How he does business is important, so make sure he has a reputable service that can provide the information needed. If he wants to be an IV standron in the communal shower and grab the cream before you get the last of it, then go to him on your own. Otherwise, ask the loan officer to show you someone that’s been given the vaccines.

Finally, let him know that you’re concerned about predatory lending and he’s responsible for keeping credit indicators at the level that’s most important to you.

— Dr. Joy Adair, Life Coach

Join Washingtonian in celebrating Women’s History Month with a special 2-hour Women’s Empowerment & Wellness Seminar series in Washington. All participating sessions are designed to assist women through successful lifelong wellness and empower you to thrive in your life as a woman living with career, financial, health, and wellness challenges and aspirations. Register now at

Join the conversation!

Leave a Comment